Dating, courtship -an institution we could take courses from

 

Wekipedia defines Courtship as the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval.

In the past, courtship was more of formal, especially in the African society, where parents were more into play, I mean they could do almost everything; from the search, finding and discovering more who the partners really were and the families they were from; of course desired were a hard worker, disciplined and of course wealthy families since ‘the elders knew best then’

As advances in ‘civilization’ came, that culture has been seen off dying; some parents had their motives that weren’t shared with the children to be married and the children (youth) too have become ‘civilized enough’ to do it themselves.

Courtship Today

This is a mixed up fantasy that is handled by two; discoveries done, experiences shared and the decision is done shortly. Unlike as it was traditionally, it could take some really good time; imagine for some, watching over the young from their infancy, with close follow up to their youth and a decision could finally be made.

With short term courtships, many young couples may way into the big meant to be long life marriage commitment after dating for a few months. The youth are so stuck in lust, backed up by other hidden intension mistakened for love.  

What it’s meant to be

The actual picture of courtship or Dating if painted is meant to be a reality that requires real commitment and dedication since it gives an insight into what a real marriage would be in future. Marriage is a life commitment between two people and religiously before God and people as witnesses.

Today, relationships leading to marriages are more based and determined on ‘visible aspects’; money, appearance and other physical possessions count more. The ‘invisible, yet very crucial aspects’; behavior, culture, belief… are set aside. Maybe today’s generation, unlike yesterday’s youth are born too blind, without eyes; not those ‘eyes’, which explains why today many are ‘married’, but not ‘happily married’!

Time is a crucial aspect in courtship; short term courtships haven’t been seen to lead to strong, long lasting commitments to marriage by most relationships. Courtships were long ago treasured because during courtship the couple isn’t meant to indulge into any physical contact, they both treasure this as more is discovered and with dating a couple freely associate, even physically, so in most cases creating biasness. In such relationships especially as they are today in most cases, marriage isn’t thought of as a lifelong treasure.

With today’s societies that even create free environment for marriage breakups through the married easily filing for a DIVORCE without any time consent, lesser can be hoped from what lies ahead of future marriages.Pity is that youth today Trek trough the entire experience all by themselves and the elders, a few exist and a big gap between, making them out of reach. So big the institution is that real training we need for saving that long life commitment it!  

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3 thoughts on “Dating, courtship -an institution we could take courses from

  1. Well put Andy, the society is fast revolving, the traditions are fast dying! This is a pity indeed! A think we, the youth of today, need to constantly challenge ourselves in marrying the traditions that are relevant today into the society of today that is revolving at a rocket speed rate, as far as marriage is concerned! This is a challenge that we collectively must embrace, otherwise marriages are constantly going to have to be violated!

    Liked by 1 person

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