Month: May 2014

Divorce- Parents’ Selfishness

By Andrew Israel Kazibwe

As always I ponder about reality; and marriage, relationships being one of them- yes, many do, and amazing it is.

Recently, in a conversation with Brenda, one of my students, she disclosed something that had for long been tormenting her- least she knew it was. Being raised by her only grandmother, her mom resides in Burundi and her Dad Rwanda-but distant from her, she has grown to see no feel of what a family of mum and dad is. Rarely does she make visits to them. She feels nothing wrong with putting up with her grandmother, something she is used to.

Been realizing, and among that vast issues surrounding and of course facing society; Divorce taking high ranks currently. Have you noticed how fast divorces are out weighing marriages in terms of speed and numbers! It no longer is wired, for a couple to divorce- as it used to be anciently- when this was considered unfit, shame and disgrace to families.

Divorce these days is legal, so a couple may happily or unhappily ‘File’ for divorce; the two can now make a legal separation, and feel, nothing- not guilty about the whole matter!.

See, reasons might be there, justifiable too. But it gets really painfully emotional when parents of a child divorce, children from ‘broken families’ face a lot of challenges through their time of growth and development; which it is here that they would count or look on to both parents for guidance.

All that leads to divorce isn’t in any way caused by a child, but it directly affects them; since a child now is a result of the couple’s union. So, aren’t parents opting for this through being selfish? , since they do it for themselves, their desires, relief…yet not taking the children into consideration!

In marriage, vows are made, before God, in front of thousands friends who witness all this being sealed with a ring and the lord’s blessing, for most these days, a few months or years along this road, the vow is broken-for a reason or two and DIVORCE is called for. What amazes me is that it is mostly through whisper that such happens and unlike the event before which involved thousands to witness; with Divorce only a one will- a lawyer, oh, the papers and a pen to seal it off. Shame!

Since today, children too count and unlike before, they possess a voice that can be heard legally; they too should be included among divorce discussions, to have a deeper say in it. That way, parents will more work well on bettering their relationship in marriage than facing that moment when a child would have a say on the divorce issue or else, many(parents) will face the law to answer charges related to divorce when they are sued by the children- since they are the most affected and hurt here!