Much as African- which was not long ago (though even to date) is referred to a primitive, backward society, and to a much more extent we’ve embraced modernity through ‘civilization’, marriage is quite an institution that we’ve ignorantly tarnished with blunder.
Among the primitive habit still creeping through many is how the older generation is shaping the current- through which results are to be emulated by the next generation.It’s quite peculiar, weird, or interesting the issue of marriage get; as more emphasis has been place onto preparations for the ceremony (I mean walking down the Aisle) and may be yes- binding it legally- all the way to Divorce Issues(which are a trend too). But we’ve always looked up to and upon the older generation for inspiration…
One female friend of mine came out honest with me by whispering that, “Marriage is a business today…”-which she complemented with a wink of an eye.
Forced marriages is a growing custom eating deeper into African society today. Noticed how young men and women will in a nick of time flash out a wedding invitation (same manner as if its ‘just’ a business card), then next we’ll hear is how they are ‘happily married.’
Strange is that- even that best friend of yours, whose fiancée isn’t well versed with his or her mother-in-law’s both names is crowned mister or misses a month later.
Well even when buried, truth is how culture is remembered on realization that a girl or young lady is pregnant. See- families then gear up wedding preparations, further sealing it up all before the almighty ‘Till death do us apart’.
In religious ways(just as it is amongst most African traditions), its forbidden to first of all sin through fornication. Am just wondering how further it gets for an action of officially religiously wedding a couple-which is expecting!
Forced marriages have since edges been amidst society, maybe not for the case of violation of ‘human Rights’, but for actually crucial reasons.
From the African ancient cultural point of view, customs were a core value, from which society was built. Norms and taboos were a focus; for instance boys or girls were trained to be real men and women through hard work (activities like hunting, cooking to marriage and parenting), while with age; as early as their teens, any lad or lass was seen ripe for the marriage institution-and so trained or shaped for it.
Though most parents and families have claimed not to face the ‘shame’ that comes from the taboo of teens giving birth before marriage and rather of leaving a couple to think it through by themselves), events following up forced marriages are toxic- a cancer eating up societies today. Why Divorces are a trend, broken families a lifestyle, yet domestic violence a repercussion too today all majorly roots from the fact that young, lost couples are wedded, then left out to embark on Marriage- which isn’t a piece of Cheese…
Andrew Israel Kazibwe is an African- Rwanda based writer- curious about life, and as a learner openly expressing unfolding issues about it…