Did you know that the thought and odd attitude towards Menstruation and Menstrual Cycle, period and Blood dates over 500 years ago?! Yes, with weird, brutal segregative acts around it…
A girl raised in family where her mother is physically abused by the the father. The beatings, screens and wails eachday.
Most girls, like sheep have been sold off-more by their parents-into unplanned marriages, since the men who desired them had money, “Listen to me my daughter. Iam your parent, and I know what’s best for you, “they stated.
To this day girls are waking up in realisation that they’ve for long lived under oppression and abuse.
A girl since childhood is molested by her uncle, brother, her real father. She doesn’t enjoy it, but again fears how society will turn against her if she uttered out a word about an abuse from with in. Again, what does she know?, she will assume. ‘How dare you insult your father? ‘, they’d state.
Most ladies, especially in marriage relationships, the pleasure of romance, intimacy and sexual satisfaction is a fantacy(they only dream of, or watch in TV Soaps), since to men, they are rather serving a role of quenching their sexual urge.
A lady won’t get an office job or promotion, since the proposed terms are ‘A night with the Employer’ -but again, some do.
A lady lost her job since she couldn’t give in to the desires of her male manager.
Strange a girl would find it how at some cases, she is told to report for an interview (not in public, not during day, yet not in the company of others), but at a weired venue-a hotel or lodge.
A lady was raped by her boss. In fear of losing the job, she swallowed the pain, gave birth- and carried on. She was fired from her job, and couldn’t stand against the defiler.
Another was decieved into sleeping with her employer-to-be. She got the job. Things went on as planned, but not for longer- as the same criteria was used for another lady. Yes, a broken heart she turned out to be.
Imagine the many single mothers, doing all sorts of jobs as they raise their kids- whose fathers denied responsibility.
After her secondary level, she had to surely search for a job. A bar tender she was employed to be. But she learnt how her shift was twisted to night time. One day she was escorted back by a fine handsome lad-who seemed a good Samaritan. On her way, her last memory before it all was taking a sip of a soft drink.
Bedridden for 2 months, investigations indicated how she had been raped by 6 men. She survived, but with a pregnancy and HIV/Aids. No one was brought to justice like the courts sayings state ‘there wasn’t enough evidence’.
It turns out a suddening aspect how there are women, who haven’t stood up for girls or their fellows, but rather set traps for them(that too is for another day post).
This all, and more, like a Cancer has eaten them up, drained their souls, that no more they still exist as gentle being’s, but betrayed personalities,thirsty for revenge.
From deeper experience, women today hold great wrath, which like never before might affect generations.
But for any success, especially in restoring the plight of a girl-child and a woman, it starts right from a family, the upbringing, and society systems, it’s a joint role.
By Andrew Israel Kazibwe
Speechless I turnout to be if told to compare you… To you the woman who welcomed the idea of cherishing this feeble body that God had granted the greatest gift- life. And through those arms, you daily from day one connected with me, to understand me more-no doubt you know better.Watching me make my first step, smile and all effort lighted up your face.
It wouldn’t be unfair if I don’t look back at it all and return, just to thank you. So passionate find them to be, so collected, considerate, calm a real woman is, that at this thought of her, all settles out…She is a remedy to most. A path for life, a soothing being, companion, teacher, inspiration, drive, an allure she is, indeed so uncomparable To you, the woman who has felt so compassionate, tender, loving and has listened to my pain, shared my dreams, bought all those flirts and complements, made me smile and feel cherished… To you, a women worth to be cherished, even when abused, neglected or holding the feeling of ‘lost’, to you the neglected, but hold that one thing so unique- being a woman…With love you should be complemented, respected and awarded. To you, Oooh the woman I cherish!!!
Andrew Israel Kazibwe is an African Rwandan-based freelance Journalist , a learner, Arts enthusiast and advocate. Passionate about what goes on within lives, he shares whats within, around and closer to you. Its an Insight!!!
A nightmare it is still to girls especially among the Kuria people of Kenya and some parts of Tanzania. Circumcision has proved a life threatening ritual that some among society live to regret.
In a recent screening last at Goethe institut Kigali of ‘The Cut’, a movie 43 minutes documentary film by Beryl Bagoko as the director. The award winning film portraying the painful cultural ritual of circumcision and female genital mutilation (FGM) majorly among a certain tribe in Kenya, still being taken it on strongly by some people is a touching story of pain faced.
The story digs deep into reality of the painful celebration and initiation of one into becoming a real man, and a woman.
“Indeed people have customs, and this is not worth bearing!,” Pierre Kwitonda from the audience wondered.
The story features live testimonies of girls to women about the whole experience basically among women; with misunderstanding, till to date in societies; with some saying ‘it makes one areal woman’ while others also sticking onto the ritual admitting to the fact that it FGM reduces sexual pleasure and libido of one which controls fornication among women. The discrimination it yields among the un circumcised is expressed while the pain one goes through is witnessed through this movie.
The documentary also features interviews by Kenya based health personnel who too testify against the ritual saying that it leads to reproductive complications especially among expectant mothers and that there is a high risk of disease infections among those being circumcised since it is carried out by people outside the health sector; equipment used isn’t sterilized.
Despite the fact that this tribal act has been stronger before, through campaigns, especially through schools, awareness has been created and some of the people are now being convinced of the health affecting dangers involved.
Talking of the Kuria people in Kenya, and some parts of Tanzania reminds me of the Amudat people of Uganda, where the same custom occurs, region’s political leaders leave in fear of condemning it in public-according to sources but a statement against this practice has been issued by Uganda’s junior Minister in charge of primary health care.
It takes real courage and determination to end the ritual which has persistently eaten deep in some societies. I wonder how many are to stand up longer in this fight!
The weaker gender!-no more, to only cook, deliver children, stay home accomplishing the chores or do farm work she was meant.
Not a word of advice-however developmental could be heard from her in meetings but only to listen, abide and implement whatever the idea was from the ‘Men’. Not even in their own marriage did she have a say!
This has been a Woman of late, worldwide; yes, not only in Africa has she been through that all. It has taken real time and hardwork and sensitization raising a woman to where she is this day.
From the backyard to the Office- as Employers, behind the wheels as Drivers, in lecture as Lecturers, to holy places as Church leaders, in the media as Journalists, on to the stage as outstanding celebrities to sport fields as Sports personnels; even to the ‘parliament as Political leaders’; yes, leaders- who could ever imagine this!
Because of this all, realization of the similar ability which for long lies hidden in a ‘Woman’; Today, even single mothers and widows stay strong and focussed to take on all responsibility there is…
A great symbol of love; passion and care they breed. Just as Mother Theresa of Calcutga was quoted, ‘Peace begins with a smile,’ peace and hamony they build; a child’s first sight will be a ‘smile in it’s mother’s face’, right from the smallest unit of the society-a family, so a role so big they play in nation building from the roots.
‘Gender connecting grass root women to development’ is the theme in this year’s ‘International Women’s Day’. Indeed, many women still are faced with oppression in some of the parts worldwide.
Though her potential and role has been realised and appreciated, this gender still is undermined by some people in most societies worldwide.
The fact that this pride has also been abused by even a woman herself can’t be hidden far, preserving it is a challenge that has to be faced by a generation ahead.
She not only bears labour pains, humiliation, harassment and false accusations but also sacrifice and patience.
A mother gives to her child expecting nothing in return- a great sacrifice she does all her life to you at whatever age.
Blessed indeed they are that inspire every first generation of one’s life. An exemplary life she lives, a determination and patience she carries with her. A lead she deserves in the world’s building and betterment.
Imagine how this world would turnout, without her!